12 Pubs of Christmas

On the 12th pub of Christmas my true love gave to me.... a calendar?

It's well past Christmas but I felt the need to post about this amazing night when I came across some awesome pictures. Every year, a fun loving group of Whistler locals gather in their best (worst?) holiday garb and make the trek (stumble?) from pub to pub in honour of baby Jesus. Or rather, to get drunk. C'mon. Obviously!

If you ever participate in this event, be warned. A) You DO need to have a drink at each location B) You WILL need a silly costume. If you don't have one, one will be made for you out of various Christmas decorations sneakily taken from our destinations C) If you should spill your drink, expect the ENTIRE group to chant 'shoe' over and over again until you drink the remainder of your drink out of your footwear. 

Here is my documentation of the event:

I thought I'd end this blog on a sober picture of me and my buddy Sean at stop #3. You don't want to see what happens to a group of people this rowdy after 12 Pubs. Just sayin'

Model Behavior at Cornucopia

Over the years, I've seen Cornucopia become one of the best events in Whistler. Among all the skiing, boarding and biking, local booze hounds and party animals have found yet another festival that celebrates... well, celebrating!

My Cornucopia begins with the Trade Tasting. I happily turn over my $10 donation to WAG and enter the conference centre for a chance to try as many wines as possible within the window of a few hours. This is Crush for the local hospitality staff, and a wine drinkers dream. Since my recent wine-tasting trip to the Okanagon, I feel like an old pro and grab a glass to start sipping. It's a pleasure to see my fav wine from Oliver BC, Cassini Cellars, present. Along with various stations of cheese and crackers, Rogers Chocolate was there and I tried a to-die-for caramel chocolate with sea salt. Delish! Guess what everyone's getting for Christmas?!

Later that night is Ric's Grill Casino Royale party. This event has grown every year, and each year it gets even better! The ladies of Whistler Exposed (including moi) were out in full force as showgirls, Goldmember girls, and good ol' calendar girls. In a new twist this year, my girl Bree and I were dressed as burlesque-candy girls. We had a blast selling candy for charity, thanks to those who donated!

This was an amazing gig as we were able to move through the crowd and see every corner of the party. People were have a ball gambling in the gaming tent and dancing to the rocking DJs and musicians in the lounge. The lobby was unrecognizable with sculptures, performers, and beautiful people everywhere! This was a party that had it all - even Dr. Evil even put in a special appearance. Casino Royale had an amazing vibe and it was great to see so many locals out in their best attire having such a good time.

After a quick recovery breakfast on Saturday with my Vancouver friends, I head over to the Loft Salon for the 'late' call time of 1pm to get my hair done. From there it's to the Listel Hotel to get body painted for Masquarave. Being in a room for many hours with 45 of Whistler's loveliest, little-clothed ladies is an opportunity that most guys would kill for. Trust me boys, that was a sight to see. I absolutely adored my paint job, but being a painted model is not an easy gig and certainly not for the faint of heart. Thank God a couple of my gal pals were in it too... we definitely had some laughs. 

From our perches up on the podiums, the Bearfoot's Masquarave certainly looked like the party of the year. Who knew that an underground parking lot could be transformed into what looked like a hot Vegas nightclub? Andres Saint-Jacques, that's who! I'm sure that the people on the floor didn't know where to look next - from the acrobats, DJs, dancers, chefs passing out yummy food, trays of champagne, models... they had their choice. And I'm hoping that they chose not to look up my nose...

One day and many, many showers later, I've recovered from my Cornucopia experience. Rumour has it that Masquarave will be back next year, and they may lengthen the festival. Better start prepping your liver now! That should be easy to do, the mountain just opened so you have at least 150 days of apres to practice.

Hit Me Heavily, I'm Bored To Death. Whistler's Heavy Hitting B-Grade Horrorfest

One thing can be said about the shoulder season in Whistler – it’s boring. However, when the inspired minds of Whistler get bored, they do what they do best. Guess what that is... Party? Dress up in costumes? Make movies? Get drunk? How about all of the above. Roll all these fine activities up into one evening and you’ve got the Heavy Hitting B-Grade Horrorfest.

In its tenth year, ‘B-Grade’ is not to be missed and one of the top events in Whistler. All the most creative, fun and wild people in this little ski town assemble every October 30^th, dressed in our creepiest, goriest and most inventive costumes. People don’t F around with this – check out my BFF Bree and her talents:

Starting with (many) drinks, we mingle, chat, take photos and excitedly discuss the films that we are about to screen. Once we settle in, host Feet Banks gives us his always entertaining schpeel about how it all started, oh so many years ago, and where they are at now. Rolling into the first film, you can see they’ve come a long way. The quality of films this year was unparalleled. Graced with the usual gore, boobs and blood, there was an added abundance of penises getting cut off and vomiting this year. Nicely done, kids!

A special touch this year was a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' film created by Whistler Creeks Productions mastermind Stuart Andrews. Audience members chose what path his daring and dangerous heroine would take via Twitter during intermission. The star of 'Mystery Line', Darla, aka Tajana Popovic took home Best Actress.

Taking home the top prize of Best In Show once again is Conrad Shapansky and my bud Kevin Hardiman with ‘So You Think You Can Write’. Winning every ounce of the 'Fearless Performance' Manimal award was Janice Low. I can't even write fantastically disgusting things she did to win that prize. I’d love to give a special shout out to my long time friend Andrew Vella, who starred in ‘The Sweater’ and gave me the chance to stab him in the eye with a knitting needle – my first B-Grade appearance!

It was another stellar night for stars in Whistler to be dripping in blood, then vomited on, then shine! Can't wait til next year!

check out this fantastic photo collection from Magdalena of IPartyinwhistler.com here:
http://www.ipartyinwhistler.com/oct-30-b-grade

Getting Exposed in Whistler! ... not like that, like this:

Ah, ‘The Dead Season’. 

It sounds like some sort of new and edgy HBO special. But dead season isn’t a glamorized show about zombies or vampires, even though the time of year is appropriate. No, dead season falls in Whistler between the closing of the bike park and the opening of the mountain. It's rainy, cold, and generally boring. It’s a time when Whistlerites follow either the ‘Sober October’ regime or the complete opposite, seeing it as an opportunity to fight their boredom by regularly getting shitfaced.

There is one other way to keep yourself entertained during the dark and dreary days of the slow season. Warm yourself up by taking a good look at the new 2012 Whistler Exposed bikini calendar! These hot blooded local girls will surely keep you warm on a cold fall night, that is certain.

The brainchild of local entrepreneur and socialite Shannen Carlson, the Whistler Exposed Calendar was first launched in 2009. Carlson figured that by taking Whistler’s stunning scenery and making it the backdrop to Whistler’s finest assets, she could really create something phenomenal and raise money for the Canadian Spinal Cord Research Association (an organization dear to her heart). Not only has the calendar raised over $10,000 so far, it is also making it's mark around the world. The 2010 calendar took home the bronze medal with the World Calendar Association - beating out other big name productions.

Some of Whistler’s best and brightest ladies shone at Tommy Africa’s last week at the calendars official launch party. While tumbleweeds rolled through the rest of the village, nearly everyone out that night made it to the club. People lined up to meet the models, get their calendars signed, and catch a jaw-dropping performance from a pole dancing champion. Screw the dead season; this was one hell of a party! 

If you didn’t make it to Tommy's that night, you can pick up your 2012 calendars at Armchair Books, Project Denim or O Canada stores (just to name a few).

Keep your eyes open around town for the calendar models – they regularly make appearances to raise funds and sell calendars. Remember when getting yours signed to specify when you want the autograph to be naughty or nice ;)

Clinching the Title of Miss Whistler!

I’m sitting at my computer drinking a gin and tonic and wearing a crown. What’s with the crown? Perhaps it’s my new thinking cap, or maybe I just have little girl dress-up syndrome now that I actually own a crown. No, it’s because I’m the new Miss Whistler and although wearing a crown isn’t necessary, it makes for a funny start to this blog.

A couple weeks ago, the final honours for Mr. Whistler went to Brendon King, aka Quatchi from Moe Joe’s. Since every king needs a queen, fast forward to Friday, August 26^th and the highly anticipated Miss Whistler competition.

I’m standing backstage with 14 other gorgeous women and the little girls are playing dress up once again. First up? Ski bunny wear. Thank god I would never ski in this or my butt would get frostbite. I strut my stuff and show off my ski bum to loud cheers. I felt surprisingly comfortable despite my minimalistic approach to the category, but I think that had to do with the fact that A) I love being onstage, and B) the entire first row consisted of my friends. Not only did they come out and cheer the loudest, they also made signs like ‘Kristy IS Whistler’ and ‘Kristy For Ms Whistler’ in glitter which pretty much dominated the landscape of the bar that night. My friends are amazing! I tell everyone what the wildest thing I’ve ever done is (not to be printed here, just in case Mom is reading) and I exit the stage happy with the first part of my performance.

Next up is bikini / lingerie wear. My best friend comes backstage to help me change outfits and feed me reviews. It’s going great! I step back onstage and flirt with the crowd. I then remain to perform my talent, which was to take over the mic and make it snow! I had a feeling it would be a crowd pleaser and it couldn’t have gone better.

After a small intermission the runner up is announced. Congrats to the gorgeous Jocelyn Connelly! She will be a welcome addition to the Whistler Exposed calendar next year. Then it was announced that I was the new Miss Whistler for 2011-2012. Wahooo!! Everything is such a blur after that I couldn’t really tell you what happened next. I do know that I ended up high fiving people as I ran through the village in my sash and went to Fat Tony’s at 2am to get pizza, just a like a good Whistler Girl.

I’m so thrilled to have won. Big thanks to Shannon, Jessica and the crew from Whistler Exposed, Jeff from Tommy Africa’s, Magdalena from Ipartyinwhistler.com, Patrick and Darcy for helping with the snow making machine, my bestie Bree for creating the signs and being my ‘dresser’, all my friends who came to support me, and most of all, to my own Mr. Whistler, Jon for his love and support!

Ladies Night with Mr. Whistler

It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it. For the second time in my spray-tanning career, I had the opportunity to tan a male model. Hard job, right? This time it was a contestant who was participating in the Mr. Whistler competition at Tommy Africa’s. As I bronzed his buff bod, he assured me that it would be an entertaining evening, and that myself and my girlfriends would most definitely be amused. He wasn’t lying.

Our group collects at the Mix, then we head over to Tommy’s for a night of girlicious fun. I get the luxury of sitting front row with another Whistler Exposed model and the judges, including Whistler’s own hairstylist extraordinaire Carlito Bonito, most talented mixologist Tia Stonier and former Miss Whistler Virginia Smith. One by one, the competitors hit the stage. Contestant #1 sets a goal for the following contestants to do 20 push ups (after which each guy intends to outshine the next). The ‘talent’ portion of the evening consisted of strip teases, air guitar and champagne sabre-ing. My favourite – the newly bronzed Patrick, who ‘baked’ muffins onstage, then treated us to a show of what was under the apron... a very tanned bum indeed. (thanks to yours truly).

Top honours went to Quatchi from Moe Joe’s. He took home a trophy, $350 cash and a Texas Mickey of Jack Daniels. Not bad!

Shannon and the Whistler Exposed girls always throw a great party, and more funds were raised for the Canadian Spinal Cord Research Association, their charity of choice. Don’t miss the next event! Next Friday August 26^th the lovely ladies of Whistler will go head to head for the title of Miss Whistler 2011-2012, so be there and be ready to cheer! I hope to be competing, if I get summon the gusto to get ‘er done. Wish me luck!

Whistler Warriors Make A Mad Dash

I’m running up Blackcomb Mountain, and one would think that that would be enough for a race. Not this race. For this isn’t just any race - this is the Warrior Dash.

The Warrior Dash is about 5 hellish kilometres of good fun. It’s a race of a different sort, not just running but obstacles as well. And hey, let’s throw on some costumes for good measure. This is my kind of race.

I’d like to be on the committee that decides what obstacles to add to a race like this. I think I’d have some pretty good ideas, or at least improvements on some of the current obstacles. I’m not sure what happened between the design of the course and the making of it, but some of the more fun obstacles listed on the website seemed to be missing. C’mon! I really wanted to rappel down a steep ravine and walk a tightrope! I may have to write a sternly worded letter to Customer Service.

The first obstacle is the mountain itself, in which groups of over a hundred people would tackle at a time. Loud cheers and running falter into loud breathing and a slow, but steady, pace for most. Next up are some hurdles, followed by barbed wire, a snow-making gun blasting cold water, walking the plank, a cargo net, and so on. They saved the best for last, and with my final ounces of strength I leap over burning fires, then chuck myself in the mud and crawl under barbed wire to the finish. And all dressed like a pirate! I should have got brownie points for doing all the obstacles with my sword. I do believe that the photo of me in mud up to my elbows with a pirate sword wedged between my lips will be forever cherished.

This is a stellar event, and is sure to be back next year so don’t miss out! After coming in 1724 place out of 3911 people (103 out of 403 in my age group, thank you very much!), I’m pretty sure next year I can step things up a notch. Maybe next year if I’m dressed like Wonder Woman I can get a bit of an edge.... hmmmm....